The Healing Power of Forgiveness: How Letting Go Can Change Your Life

Muscatatuck Park, North Vernon, Indiana

As humans, we often find ourselves in situations where we make bad decisions in the heat of moments, leading us down a path that takes us away from where we should be.

Life comes to us hard.  Sometimes those ways unexpected and can catch us off guard.  Maybe even encountering a circumstance that we have never charted before.  It’s unfamiliar. We can be taken by surprise.  And because we are encountering something new, we may not know how to handle it exactly.  Have you ever been there?

It’s easy to let one bad decision get us off the right path. How quickly one bad decision can lead us into making another one, and then another, until one day we wake up and realize we are so far from where we should be.  It can even grow to the extent of one day realizing that your outcomes the life you are in is nothing near where you wanted to be.

Maybe you find yourself here today.   

What you may not realize is that no matter how seemingly insignificant it may be, a bad decision is a bad decision and sometime the consequences of that decision can still wreak havoc, internally and externally.

But be assured that you have what it takes to chart this path correctly.

You may not realize that while in your mother’s womb God wrote his instructions on your heart to know his laws and ways. His word tells us that in Deuteronomy 6:6 & Romans 2:15. You don’t need to be trained or taught by anyone to truly know the right thing to do.

“They demonstrate that God’s law is written in their hearts, for their own conscience and thoughts either accuse them or tell them they are doing right.” Romans 2:15

Even when we don’t think we know the right way to handle a situations/circumstance, we do.  Denying that you don’t know only delays the process. Our responsibility is to come to terms with our heart, know the right way and choose it.  This would be the ultimate right answer to any one situation. 

But do you really know what this means?

What happens to us internally when we walk around with that accusation unanswered?

Biblically, when we do wrong to others, we know in our hearts that we are wrong.  Examples of those wrongs could be starting rumors about others, saying hateful things, being blatantly mean, sarcastic or even making fun of others to belittle them, stealing boyfriends, violating friendship codes, or having a disrespecting behavior which dishonors someone. I could go on and on of all the ways we can intentionally hurt others, but you get the idea. 

When we are the one who does wrong, our heart convicts us of that behavior regardless of if you claim to know God or not.  However, our hurt feelings, our pride and our emotions can get so out of whack that we can’t even begin to hear our heart showing us the right path.  Generally speaking, if you are the one who hurt another, more times than not it is rooted in pride.  Not all the time but most times.  When pride takes over, it’s the beginning stages of a great fall into the muck and mire of life. It’s a place no one likes to be, but we sometimes find ourselves in because we chose the wrong heart posture. 

Know this truth, God does not like pride.

He made our hearts to walk in humility and we must have some ounce of that in us in situations so that we hear the heart & choose correctly.  But that’s where Jesus comes in and the celebration of the Good News.  When you have wronged someone and you know it and you truly are sorry about it, that’s when you turn back to Jesus, ask for forgiveness and know that his death on the cross paid in full the forgiveness you need in this situation.  When you seek God’s forgiveness, his is faithful to forgive. He will mend or bind up any wound in you from this.

His Word tells us that and we stand in faith believing in him at his word. 

You should go a step further by seeking out the person you wronged and ask for forgiveness.  It’s not only a true reflection of your repented heart but it helps you grow stronger in handling hard matters with other humans through honor and respect.

When we wrong others, our hearts know it.  These accusations can be compared to a blot or stain in us.  When we have accusation in our soul that’s not dealt with, wrongful affects soon follow only create more wrongful actions thus piling up a heap of undealt with emotions.  Sometime that expresses itself in the form of sickness or disease or wrongful actions that can lead us into jail. Sometimes it takes things of this nature to be so severe for us before we finally take notice and figure our way back to reconciliation.  And sometimes, depending on how long we’ve let our hearts go unchecked, the way back can be very painful and long.

Asking for forgiveness with the Father and with the wronged person is always the best option.  The quicker this can happen the better!

But know this, even if the person you wronged does not forgive you that’s okay. You have done the right thing by offering up your heart to the Father and allowing his ways to be your path of reconciliation with him and the person involved. And, you can still pray that their hearts be changed.

Now, if someone has wronged you in a situation you must learn to forgive them even if they never come to you to apologize. Even though our flesh wants to resist this path, for you to no longer be tied to them or any pain caused by their actions, you must choose to forgive. It releases you from the hurt and allows you to be free from their actions. You can not control what others do, but you can control how you handle your response.

It works the same internally as if you wronged them. There is a stain, or blot on your heart from their words marked with hurt or pain and it starts a slow path of damage if undealt with. But, that’s the great news about the power of Jesus. He alone purchased and paid for your healing, it’s available anytime you need it, but you must surrender it to him. You hold on to it by harboring your emotions, continually repeating it over and over to yourself and agreeing with the pain by your words (gossiping about it to others). Sometime that healing isn’t instant but if you truly give it to him, and release forgiveness to the one who wronged you, your heart will be healed and free. That means lay it at his feet and continue on, letting it go.

Sometimes, rising up to be the first to forgive is the hardest thing to do but it is possible and in Christ, you have the strength to choose that path. Jesus displayed this strength on the cross in Luke 23:34:

“Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.”

When you forgive someone who has wronged you, that doesn’t mean you have to keep them close to you anymore. Or that you have to hang out with them in the same manner that you used to.

It does mean that your heart remains free and now has the option to use wisdom in how best to move forward. Repetitive, constant hurting is always a sign of a poorly managed heart of someone who doesn’t respect your boundaries. It is a warning sign that the coexistence measures once allowed should be changed.

But know this humans do make mistakes. We do get in the way of ourselves. But thank God for Jesus and the price he paid for our hearts to remain whole and free to live vibrantly if we so choose his ways. Some of your most authentic friendships come from a place of working through hard moments to forgive each other and allowing that pain to turn into trust and strength.

To summarize,

If you did the wrong, you know it. Own it. Seek forgiveness from God through the blood of Jesus. Offer forgiveness to the person that you are wrong so that you display a manner of honor and respect towards them.

If someone wronged you, lay it at the feet of Jesus. Give your hurts, pains, and emotions about it to him and ask him to heal you. And, choose to forgive the person who has hurt you.

Let your heart remain open and free to love. That doesn’t mean they remain your best friend, use wisdom here. But if they truly repented and you know that what happened isn’t their norm then build trust with them again and continue.

Unique for purpose

Our life, which makes up our body, soul (mind, will, and emotions) and spirit, is the very creation from the heart of the Father. You were born to be a unique creation of His.   Your fingerprint is the evidence that he gives us of there's no other like you that exists, and it is the indicator to help remind you that your life is marked for purpose.

You were not only created to be unique but for those who say yes to Jesus, the expression of him in your life will be unique as well. I believe our quest to be connected to others, to find and be in a family can cause us to distort our uniqueness to blend in or to do what others are doing, especially in the church. We become vulnerable to this type of behavior when we don’t know who we are. That is, who Christ is, who we are in him, and what we were created for.

The quest to be someone else will put you on a path away from abundant life, the fullness of what you were intended for. It’s a dull copy. A clone, if you will, of someone else. In that space, there isn’t the fullness of you or life, only wasteful attempts at trying to be someone you will never be or become something you were never intended to become.  Doesn’t mean that that you won’t make it to heaven but it does mean you may not come into the fullness of your life here on earth and in eternity.

According to the word, in the womb the Lord inscribes on your heart those things that pertain to you and your life. When you invite Jesus into your life his light begins to shine on your heart revealing those things to you as you grow in knowing him, the Father and the Holy Spirit. You are a living epistle.  A living letter to the world around you of God's love. That’s why renewing the mind and knowing him is so key in your walk with him. His word becoming flesh in you. When you know him - his character, his thoughts towards you, his laws, precepts, and commandments- you begin to see those things he’s put in you. You begin to love him and through the expression of love you begin to live to please him. You start to live in thankfulness. Thankful that he made you the way he did, not having the slightest desire for anything or to be anyone else. Living in love changes everything.

Your mind, heart, and soul align more rightly to truth, and you begin to see and walk in the purpose he always intended for you. You begin to think, speak and live out his truth thus leading you into purpose. This purpose is good, pleasing, and perfect. Nothing will or can compare to that which God has prepared for you. All of you. The authentic expression of who you are in him is what affects the life around you. It begins to support and equip those around you just as God designed it to. You begin to fit rightly inside a family.  Walking in the anointing and gifts he gave you.  The voice he gave you.  The words he gave you.  The work of the kingdom he designed you to do.

Jesus wasn’t in the business of trying to change his disciples, rather he was helping them see and understand the kingdom and to move in it.  Could you imagine how different it would have been if John tried to be Peter?  Or if Paul tried be Timothy?

One serious look at the creation of God should give a clear sign of just how unique you were supposed to be and to live. Your life matters, your voice matters and your actions matter to him. When you copy or live in the shadow of someone else, the expression of his creative power isn’t being expressed as he intended.

I want you to begin to look around you. Look at your leaders in the community, leaders at your work, your friends, and those around you very intently.  Can you spot those who live in the unique creative expression of God versus those who live in a copy? What’s different between the two? What are aspects of each stick out to you? The defining line of this expression is being revealed and more readily seen in the lives of others more and more in our day. 

I believe the same scenario is true in this community. He wants this community to serve the purpose he intended all along. Our community was designed for a purpose and to be unique, to see ourselves rightly through the lens of love, beauty, and purpose. We were never designed to be like any other community. When try to compete or be like another community we begin to live with the wrong identity.  A clone or copy of something else.  God in you is the fullest expression of his creative design and so is God in our community.  Let's not live in anyone's shadow but Gods.  Let’s express the fullness of God’s creative power in our own life by living authentically in truth and spirit which will ignite our community to do the same.

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